Upma - I am so with you on the floating. I met my new crush on Friday night and hung out with him last night. And even though I'm sleep deprived and hungover (a pretty picture I know), I can't stop smiling, and I practically jumped out of bed this morning when the alarm went off at 6:30am. That never happens. It's all early so who knows, but I love this feeling.

I saw lucinda williams a few years back. She played an encore that was longer than her set. Apparently, she and the band had nowhere to go because by the time she was cruising into the third hour they ran out of songs and started doing these looooong, lame blue jams. Don't get me wrong I love Lucinda Williams. And I dig the blues. But, sheesh. No one felt comfortable leaving because they understood that they were seeing something rare, real live spontaneous music, a band really "feeling it." By the end, people around me had this dumbfounded look that I'm sure was meant to express "wow, what a night" but instead looked like "please stop stepping on my IV drip." We were tired.

in about a week i will have a baby. it's wierd, i'm not scared. i'm nervous. i'm not even so much worried. i know it's not going to be easy, but i can't wait. it's like chrismas, to use a not very accurate analogy. i can't really explain what it feels like. after approximately may 7 nothing in my life will be the same. but that seems like an over-estimation. at the same time it doesn't. i'm going to continue enjoying mashed potatoes just the same. my life is not over and i don't have to be an old person.

may 7 is a the due date and it's full moon. so that's pretty well it.

upma - the place is a little north of the UT area and I plan on investing in a hide-away couch so I can be a proper hostess next time friends come to town (in my last place - well, it's my current place, but soon to be my last place, the living room is giving over to my roommmates stuff and you have to be not so picky about dog hair to want to crash there). Now, I welcome travelers. Well, I just need to finish packing, moving, unpacking first.

Zach - you are inspiring quite the catfights.

One of the nurses at the dentist office was given the wrong folder before seeing me. She kept calling me "Freddy" which I didn't get. I just thought she was being cute. Eventually, I noticed the name on the folder was "Alfredo Ortega." For like ten minutes this woman thought I was named "Alfredo Ortega." I guess this isn't as funny if you don't know me. I look like Pugsly Addams all grown up.

By the way, Louise, I'm very disappointed you won't be (the first) Mrs. Ortega, but I understand that you must be free. Upma, I'd say that you are next up to meet me at the alter, but I know you're all talk. Looks like I'm alone again.

I love you all.

Okay, sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been busy looking for housing in Austin. A task that I didn't think would require New York City effort, but it has. Reading the classifieds first thing every morning, making gillions of phonecalls, returning kagillions of phonecalls, driving around looking for rent signs (and pissing off drivers behind me for going slow), just nearly getting someplace, having a roommate, not having a roommate, having a different roommate, maybe but I can't commit so if you find someplace better don't feel bad about me roommate, putting money down to no avail, being tempted to steal all the remaining applications on a place (but not cause of karma and all), being told by an apartment searcher (after giving them my price range) "you must not be too concerned with quality". But the last few weeks finally paid off, I found out this morning that I got a place, a real first-choice type of one. So in a few weeks I'll be moving into a cute one-bedroom apartment with my very own washing machine and dryer and dishwasher. Yes this made me sing LOUDLY with more enthusiasm than skill to every soft rock song that came on the radio as I drove away ("Magic" by olivia newton john - love the Xanadu omen, etc.), but what have you. I have had roommates for so long, and I'm looking forward to making this space all mine. Messy when I want. Clean when I want. Trying different decorating schemes. I once saw pink astroturf covering walls - luv it. Dust off my sewing machine and attempt some yellow curtains. Finally get around to hanging up some photos I made in my alternative photo process class. Find out who planed the vegetable garden in the back of the six-plex and offer to help. I could go on but I've already bored my friends for too long with "the housing search" so I'll cut myself off.
Angie Joe - I'll be coming to Houston sometime in the next month to do some damage at Ikea to help outfit my new place, hopefully you won't be overbooked and we can hang. (I get the feeling that with you, I'll need to plan a month in advance).
Going to see Memento tonight - can't wait.
I saw Bridget Jones's Diary. I really enjoyed it. I read both of Helen Fielding's books and the movie captures the heart of the book excellently. And I now have a huge crush on Colin Firth. meow, that man is (sigh), he just is.
As for this POP band, I have no musical talent or instruments, but I have carried gear/sold merch for many a band, I offer my services as POP roadie.

i'm not a girl, but i will wear a dress and i play drums, bass and other instruments badly. i love pop. love pop. if i need to i might shave the beard. i wanna be in a band that sounds just like superdrag or promise ring. maybe with girls.

hey i don't really play guitar, but i do it really badly, upma, i wanna play POP too. we can be the band at louise and zach's wedding.

Hey, Louise, you and I can get married this summer. If you want to.

to be beautiful if it ruins my life

as i entered the bus and walked down the center aisle i had to walk between two women sitting in the first seats on opposite sides of the bus yelling at each other.
"fuck you"
"no, fuck you. you don't know what you're talking about. you have no idea what i've been through."
at this point, the bus driver, an older man who probably looks very kind and grandfatherly most of the time, turns around and yells a very stern, "HEY! don't make me do something about this!"
i've gotten a ringside seat by this point and i'm staring over the newspaper i'm pretending to read. the bus lurches away and the women glare at each other and mutter under their breaths.
the woman on the right is an older woman in several layers of baggy mismatched clothes. she looks more worn out than her attire.
the woman on the left is huddled up into the corner, feet on the seat, taking as little space as possible, her bag held defensively behind her crossed arms. she has spiky purple hair and all the punk accoutrements. she looks very young.
after a few seconds of hostile looks the woman on the right mutters, "can't understand it....STUPID!"
"why would you understand it? maybe it's because i'm a LESBIAN! why do you think you know what i've been through?"
"i've been though it all....you think you have it hard,ever been addicted to the rock?" (shakes her head)
at this point both women begin to cry, the woman on the left into her jittery hand, the other sniffles and tries to pretend that she isn't crying.
"i can't understand it. it isn't even attractive."
"why would i want to look attractive? i want to look as unattractive as possible!"
they once again exchange warning glances. then each turns halfway toward their window, answering only partly to each other.
"but you have a beautiful face..."
"what good is it to be beautiful if it ruins my life?"
the woman on the right keeps shaking her head. "but you look too young."
the woman on the left chokes out a response about being kicked out of her parents house.
the woman on the right rubs her eyes again rapidly, and invites the girl to join her at the next stop. the girl declines saying that she is meeting friends. they get off at consecutive stops.


today at work, a coworker ran upstairs from the parking basement and informed the IT Guy that someone was sitting in IT Guy's car. the next thing i learn, IT Guy, who used to be military police, has tackled the man attempting to steal his car, and stood on him until another worker used plastic ties to bind him until police arrive.


i saw a man today walking down the opposite side of the street. he was tall and walked, jangling, like his joints mere made of chain. he was wearing a suit complete with spats and a cane which he swung wildly around him as he walked. he wore a top hat with a huge pink feather in the band and his black hair poufed out of the bottom of the inverted stovepipe. he jangled to one end of the block, swung around and strutted back. on the way he fell three times. dramatic charlie chaplin kind of falls. each time he'd lurch forward and tumble sometimes on an elbow, sometimes a knee. then he'd rise and brush himself off managing to look both sheepish and dignified. and with a nod to the cars passing on the street, continue, arms swinging, until the next tumble.
i am not certain if it was some sort of street theater. or if he was just really drunk.

i think life is sending me messages. but they are encrypted in a code i haven't cracked.

I'm at Thad's house this afternoon waiting on him to return from buying a
cellphone. A baby phone. I can't believe that the baby is on two weeks away.
Sheesh. Heavy. Last night we had a baby shower for Meredith and Thad. All
his friends showed up and most of our relatives. It was a really good time.
I think everyone enjoyed themselves. My brother is very well-loved and
deserves to be.

My grandmother, who was living with my parents, is moving into a rest home
today. My mother is very broken up about it. i wish there was something I
could do for her, but there isn't. Its hard to watch someone go through this.
But, the time has come and she has to go to the home. There's nothing more
my parents can do. Its beyond them now.

A few weeks ago Angie asked about the band. i didn't answer because I'm lazy
not because I didn't want to talk about it. Its going very well actually. We
have three songs solid and three more in various stages of completion. Upma's
planning a show to benefit her film and we've been invited to play. By then
we should have seven songs I think and 30-40 minute set. Its all been fun and
its turning out well. We're writing really odd songs I think. Only one has a
standard verse, chorus, verse structure and even that one is a little
different. One is a constant build, no chorus. Another has these weird vocal
placements like only singing on the second verse, second bridge, and last
chorus. Its been interesting to see how the others want to do these things.
It not like they're planned this way. It's all been very natural. My only
lingering concern is that Nathan (our drummer) said that he wants to write the
words to some music he wrote and we've just learned. I'm a little wary of
singing someone else's words. First of all, i'm not much a singer, so I'm not
sure he'll write stuff I can sing. And two, he's not much of a singer either.
I've noticed (in other stuff he's written for himself) that he has a tendency
to sing the guitar part as the vocal melody without realizing it. We'll see
how it turns out.

The other band, the one I was so worried about, has just found a singer, Jon
from Zegota. And they sound good, but when Zegota reconvenes in December I
think they'll be left cold. the ghoul punks that also play in our house are
really great too. I'm surprised by how much they've done in a small amount of
time. I'm proud of those guys.

But, being an insecure and jealous type of guy, I am a little uneasy about the
whole thing. Our band is not-very-punk and a little weird. I'm not sure how
we'll go over. The other band (no name yet) and the ghoul punks (the Crimson
Specter) are more crowd-pleasers. Its hard not to be the hot shit, when
that's what you want to be, but I like the stuff we're doing and I hope other
people will too.

Here's the first phase a little project Julia and I are working on:

www.pce.net/julia/peep

we've written two line songs for each peep and we're in the process of creating a flash program where you can place peeps in different envormoments 9i.e. in fornt of famous architecture or inside interiors we've gotten from 70's design books. New Peeps will be posted soon, we're both making 5 a day for the next month. Enjoy.

Upma, my G4 is not the dual processor. i skipped out on that because it doesn't really help for audio processing which is the main reason i have my super computer. it's been invaluable the last couple of weeks. last wednesday i had an interactive piece for three music boxes and computer performed. i was working on my G4 programming for about 3 weeks prior all the way up to about 2 hours before the concert. it went well though. lots of stuff piling up at the end of the semester. the summer (regardless of whether the weather ever recognizes it) will be fun and sweet and full of creative endeavor. Buffalo has mild summers with a minimal amount of insects (including those trumped up west nile carrying mosquitos) and the June in Buffalo festival is coming up. i have to write what very well be my last academic paper ever. there's something to be said for earning a terminal degree. julia and i have been working on a project called PEEP. it should be net ready soon. i'll let you guys know when it happens

there is no good reason to explain the fake mustache on the floor of my bathroom this morning. like the rest of my life.

The Maine job would be in Rockport.

I love all you guys' travel logs. Precious little travel in my future. Though I thought the Maine summer job was out of the question - but as of an email yesterday, it's back up in the air again. Did I mention that I'm working on a world geography textbook right now? I spend all day looking at pictures of places I want to go. Right now Greek harbors are on my lightbox. Greece has really nice light.
I want to spend the weekend catching up on seeing movies. Anyone have good rental suggestions?

I'm still in New York, having a good time. Yesterday we went to Ellis Island and ate vegan softserve and saw the Haunted at CBGBs. Today, we're going to PS1 and the MOMA. My feet hurt. More later.

jacob had a theory:
jacob's daylight savings time theorem of drunkeness:
yet another one of professor jp meyer's fantabulous mathematical permutations:
the world is getting drunker by 1 hour every year. yes it's true. we blame low test scores and rising crime rates on lax school standards and poverty, but it's really because we are all gaining one hour of drinking every year.
fact: 80% of the alcohol serving establishments close at 2:00 am. daylight savings time occurs at precisely this time every 12 months, when we "lose" an hour by jumping from 2:00 am to 3:00 am; "spring ahead" if you will. However, in october when we "fall back," the clock is set not from 3:00 am back to 2:00, but from 2:00 back to 1:00. thus we gain one hour of drinking every year. i suspect the liquor lobby has had its fist in this machiavellian scheme.
now, by extrapolating this concept. we see that at some point in the startlingly near future, earth shall become completely saturated in liquor, making possible alcohol fueled mayhem ona global scale, paving the way for horrors such as decrepit dogs that won't die, chess playing bums with HIV, and helicopter pilots that periodically warn people to stop their daily activities (such as banging on a piece of wood) and go to bed! the apocalypse! if you poured water on this fight it would steam cause it is HOTTT!!!

umm, yeah. i don't have anything new to say except that i played with chinchillas.

North Carolina is hot. We've been in the eighties for a few days now. In someways its nice. My flowers love it. But, my housemates don't want to turn on the air yet, so we're sweating. I can't imagine how I will sleep tonight. I've got my windows open and I dug my fan out of the basement, but that's never really enough.

Fortunately, I'm flying to NYC tomorrow where its fifteen degrees cooler. John, Evan and I will be there for four days. We plan to eat in vegan restaurants, visit museums and see the Haunted at CBGBs.

Last Saturday and Sunday, thad, dad, uncle scott and I went to our family's cabin in the Uwharrie National forest. The place was looking great and we had a fun time.

I know I should write more. But, it's too hot. I need a shower. I'll write about my trip on sunday.

I went home to New Orleans this past weekend for Passover.
Angie Joe & Shelly - I think I saw Darlene Garcia in the N.O. Airport - she was carrying a box labeled "live lobsters." I didn't get a chance to talk to her since she was so far away.
Spent most of the weekend eating, relaxing and eating. Heaven.

so last night i got a free pass to a preview of Josie and the Pussycats. a movie i had no intentions of seeing, but when you're monitarily challenged you don't turn down free stuff. it was weird, the whole thing was a huge commercial thinly disguised in an anti-corporate message. i got a long list of companies not to buy from however and it did make me wish i had followed through on the girl band thing at some point in time in my life.
in the tradition of the evening i went to barnes and noble to read-but-not-buy magazines. the one i wanted to see specifically was this month's Bust. i knew it had an interview of an artist i met the other night at an art show group started up by a few local friends. she was someone i wanted to interview for-something-or-another because she seemed very interesting. i was dismayed not to be able to find the interview with her but i did see an interview with another local group of artists that i was also planning to interview for the same project. to make matters worse i saw a mini article/ad for breast pillows very similar to some small sculptures i've been working on for a while. but while the focus of my pillows were to deal with body images and images of female beauty in art and sort of poke fun at the whole thing by having these ridiculous stuffed venus of willendorf objects, the ones in the magazine while they look similar to the ones i was making, were produced by a guy whose object was to find a way to sleep with his head between a pair of boobs every night.
great he wants to rest his head on a cloud of tittie meat. (i think that is a line from a movie, anyone?)
so anyway, the evening kind of left me feeling like crap. three ideas, ruined by one magazine, and one that i usually like for that matter. crap crap crap. and though i have a friend who has a bit of trouble with reality from time to time, who thinks that someone STOLE his idea when something like this happens. i know there are just limited themes and limited materials and most people don't have anything new to say anyway. but somebody did it faster and better than i did, yet again, and they got it DONE. i feel like crap.

givin' the dog a bone?

big balls?

i got to see acdc for free in the vip box last night it was much better than i expected. my favorite song was the one, i can't remember the name, where angus plays this riff that kinda sounds like another song and than the rest of the band comes in like a house on fire. i think it was about sex, maybe. those guys are pretty sneaky with their innuindo.