Wednesday, October 31, 2001

U.P.M.A.: Unit Programmed for Mathematics and Assassination

S.T.E.P.H.: Synthetic Troubleshooting and Efficient Peacekeeping Humanoid

Upma - I'm embarassed to say that I fell asleep for part of Waking Life (ironic, no?). We went to the late night screening, and while it's beautiful to look at, the dialogue is like being in an Intro to Philosophy class. Lecture style. So a short nap ensued. Did you know that Divya did some of the animation for it?

J.T.: Journeying Technician

A.N.G.I.E.: Artificial Networked Galactic Infiltration Entity

Upma, did I ever mention to you that in college I minored in history with a concentration in Asian American history, in hopes of figuring out what made my parents so non-communicative? Sister, you are not alone!

Ok, I have come to a conclusion about dating. I think I need to own up to the fact that I'm attracted to nerdy men who don't wear pen protectors but can hold up "heady" conversations. And he has to be quirky in some way. And of course, non-committal. That seems to be the important part of the equation these days.

Last night I met this really nice guy. Nice guy. Kind of shy. Likes sports. Is an engineer. And if I gave him the sign, he'd probably pursue me. But . . . I just don't know.

So last night I was thinking to myself that maybe Shane Landry (the ex from way back) wasn't so far from the path. Of course, I could do without the passive aggression, the Amway shit, and the holier-than-thou attitude.


Tuesday, October 30, 2001
tells the acronym of your name if you were a cyborg
S.H.E.L.L.Y.: Synthetic Humanoid Engineered for Learning and Logical Yardwork

these past few weeks have been flying by way too fast. the colder weather and the recent drama (which i'm not sure is over ... as i got a COLD hello from the woman yesterday) has made me stay inside a whole lot. which is good because i've been working very hard searching for a job in philly. i'm being very active/ aggressive about it... i just hope it'll pay off one of these days.

i took a break from all that this past weekend though... my parents came down and we went to a wedding. basically, we were guests on the boys side. the boy and i are 2 months apart... he's older. his father and my father have been friends since they were teenage boys. then they went to med school together. then his dad helped my mom and dad move to the States. his family is very.... good. they are good people. simple people. gracious people. very religious people. (they're's a religion i have a great appreciation and fondness for... although i don't think i can legitimately call myself one.... but even so, i'm still a part of the culture. it's complicated).

so this wedding. it was nice. basically, we had dinner friday night. then saturday morning was the wedding and saturday evening was the reception.
my parents met lots of people all weekend whom they hadn't seen in anywhere from 1-30 years.

i saw some people i hadn't seen in about 10 years also... but i was too overcome with shyness to talk to anyone. i dunno... it's weird... i just get that way around my parents... so timid and shy. i wish i could get over it... i want to. it's just been a thing for almost 27 years... how do you break something like that?

anyway. so... the wedding on saturday was interesting because it was only comprised of sikh's. it was a traditional sikh wedding... and on the boys side, i think all the guests were sikh's anyway... and on the girls side, except for a couple of her best friends who are white, all the guests were sikhs. (but there were hindu's at both the dinners, i think). my dad said he couldn't remember the last time (if ever) he had been in a room with this much concentration of sikhs. then 10 minutes later, the girls uncle said the same thing to everyone. the wedding was at the girls house in asheboro... but it was outside, and it was butt cold. they had tents set up... the tent where the wedding took place was on the TENNIS COURTS. and it was heated. yup.

it was weird being around that many sikh's all weekend... it made me start to feel a little guilty about myself and stuff... i told giselle that it made me relate to madonna in a new way. it's true. i have never felt that much guilt about not feeling religious and/or going against basic religious tenets... it was weird. i mean... all my peers that were at this wedding... there weren't many girls, and those that i remember actually seemed pretty traditional too... but the guys... i mean, they ALL wore a turban. and they wear it with pride. and everyone was so sweet. those people are just SO sweet. and gracious. and... just prideful. they are so proud of who they are and where they come from... it was really kinda cool to witness that in this situation... it was almost intense.

oh yeah... and another cool thing is that there was no alcohol served at all at any of the events during the weekend.

and then alone time with my parents was alright too... they're good people. i just wish i knew how to communicate with them... it drives us all batty i know. i don't know what's wrong with me. i feel reall bad about behaving so shy around them.

zach. i think that the death cab show is actually on saturday. i'm thinking about going as well.
steph, i'm glad the costume went over well... how was waking life? what theatre is it playing in? i hope it comes to greensboro. but if not, i'll travel to chapel hill to see it.

plus column: work may send me to New York for a few days to talk to stock agencies there, the Ice Queen halloween costume went over well at parties this past weekend, going to go see Waking Life tonight and will play "name that Austin hotspot," new Buffy episode tonight

negative column: I've been in 8 hour meetings three days a week at work, hence less writing and updating, costume wigs are itchy, and I think my wisdom teeth are coming in

Okay, this has been a busy week and its only going to get busier. Sunday, John and I went to see Alli With an I at a new club in Burlington. Our secondary motive was dropping off Crimson Spectre and Dirty Version demos and trying to hook up a show there. Alli With an I was pretty good, but they're totally rocking the Get Up Kids tip. Very derivitive.

Tonight, we have band practice. Tomorrow night, I work from 4 to 10:30, then I'm off to a Halloween cover show. This year Spec is covering Black Flag. I'm supposed to be playing guitar in Jimmy's all hip-hop Operation Ivy cover set, but we haven't practiced it yet.

Thursday night is Slayer in Raleigh. Friday, the new Slave comes in. Getting it here is an all day process. Then that night, we're having the slave release party, which Dirty Version is playing. Sunday, Death Cab For Cutie is playing in Chapel Hill.

How can afford this?

Man, where is everyone?

Yeah, I tried Harvard's web site but I couldn't find him. Maybe he's already finished? Who knows?

The weather has been absolutely beautiful the last week. Sunny, around 60, without a cloud in the sky. Wow!

Monday, October 29, 2001

Angie - He's in law school at Harvard - I bet you could find him on their internet site.

Hey all. I had an action packed weekend. Here are the highlights:

-- joined a new softball team that sucks ass but has a good sense of humor about it
-- my pimp daddy costume was a huge success at the party (I found big fake money which I rolled up and tucked away in my bra strap)
-- went to the Gumbo festival with my friend Andrew and his wife and kid
-- heard a lecture by Ambassador Dennis Ross at the JCC (Ross was a key negotiator in the Middle East Peace process under George H. Bush and Clinton administrations)
-- went to House of Pies with my best friend's husband who is in town for a business trip

Stephanie/Shelly: do either of you happen to have an e-mail address for Adam Hirsch? I thought about him this weekend and wanted to reconnect. I think Candace West or Marti Dumas might have it, if neither of you do.

Is it time to go home yet?

Saturday, October 27, 2001

The racial profiling issue is a touchy one, isn't it? Israel practices extreme profiling (not necessarily racial) and claims that it keeps the number of terrorist attacks down to almost nothing, considering. The Honolulu Police Department started doing a bit of racial profiling earlier this year, after a drag racing accident. Driving while young, Asian, and male, in a souped-up Asian car. Granted, it would seem pointless to pour so much time and work and money into a car and then not break the speed limit, ever. But there's been nothing said about driving a souped-up Ford. Where should we draw the line?

JT, has it begun to snow yet?

If any of you are interested in seeing photos from the Dirty Version show on Thursday night, click here.

Friday, October 26, 2001

So I've got ten minutes before I have to go play in the University Symphony Orchestra concert. Good fun, the orchestra sounds so so. Last night the wind was amazing and constant. In my bed, I could feel the air pressure in my room lower as the winds traveled around the back corner of my room and building. It's supposed to snow here tomorrow. I can't wait. It's time I made a retreat into sweet buffalo winter and my own work. I think I'm going to Paris in January for at least 2 weeks. I'll hold my breath until then. Ten minutes are almost up now, didn't get much said in that amount of time.

Thursday, October 25, 2001

Upma, you are so kind.

Jimmy Joliffe was calling me "the Music," which is something that he always does.

I want no headband. I wear the sweatbands because they make me look cool. A headband would detract from that coolness.

Evan took some pictures from the show. I'll try to post them or link to them tomorrow.

tonight, i took a break from aimlessly surfing the 'net for a job to go see and tape The Dirty Version. i have the folowing things to say.
1. if i were that bands' manager... i would take two songs off their "old" CD and make a 7"
2. if i had the power and capacity to mass duplicate the tape i made tonight... i would be a millionaire tomorrow.
3. zachary mull... aka "music" mull (who kept shouting that?) is a bonifide rockstar extraordinaire. so are benji, krystal and nate...

zach... what kind of headband do you want? i'll make one/find one for you. we can make matching wrist bands too. just say the word.

now for bed.

Wednesday, October 24, 2001

Today I was all up in arms. Or however you spell it -- from a WSJ editorial on racial profiling. The first few paragraphs gives you the impression that the author supports racial profiling. And it just so happened that last night I thought to myself that ONLY WASP males could support racial profiling (that's just my dramatic side coming out; I know that some minority groups are pro-racial profiling, too). Anyways, fortunately for me I managed to read through the entire article and realized that he did not support racial profiling and he brought up some good issues: stopping someone for "driving while black" is equally as bad as stopping someone who is "flying while Arab."

Tuesday, October 23, 2001

Rrrrgh. I'm having a suck ass day. Just got off the phone with a professor who was soooooo rude to me. For no damn reason. Blah. I think I'm going home for lunch to make myself a grilled cheese sandwich on the Bunny bread Kyle brought me from Baton Rouge. And I'm going to light my patchouli candle. Oh, I love me some Bunny bread and patchouli.

Stephanie, Lyle did perform. He sang duet with Willie on "Funny How Time Slips Away" and another song that I can't remember at the moment.

shell - thanks for the makeup tips. I'm picturing the evil queen in Snow White as my role model.
So last night I decided to give myself highlights. I bought a copper glaze color which was neither blonde nor copper but instead turned out red on my head. Which is okay, but somehow it now looks like I gave myself a bad, uneven dye job rather than the thick, chunky highlights look I was going for (since the red kind of matches my hair color but not close enough). Needless to say my hair is up and back today. Perhaps after a few washings, the look will settle in. If not, well, not sure what I'll do. Lesson learned: don't do highlights at home, or at least call a friend to help.
As for Survior, I really like Lex and Ethan so far. But it's still at the point where I can't remember all the people's names, so that could all change.
Angie - glad you had such a nice time in Austin. I watched the highlights from the concert on the news. So did Lyle Lovett end up playing? or was he just there?

Zach, I absolutely loved your last two posts. Do you realize how difficult it is to find anyone older than 12 who admits they like shameless pop? I love the new Mary J. Blige song "No More Drama" and Destiny's Child new remake of that Bee Gees song.

This weekend I was in Austin for the Willie Nelson 10K and Mosey (I did the Mosey; Kyle did the 10K). Proceeds went to Farm Aid, and he performed afterwards. I'm a huge Willie fan, but I have never seen him live before. It was probably one of the BEST concerts I had ever been to. Initially we were stuck kind of in the back, but people started leaving early, so we were able to move closer in to the stage. And Stephanie, when you described his concerts as one big melody, I couldn't have put it any better!

He did a couple of covers. Including "Jambalaya (on the bayou)." When he started singing Jambalaya, Kyle and I started jitterbugging. It was the BEST.

But one moron woman did get on my nerves (surprise). In the middle of the concert, she called one of her friends on her cell phone, "Hey, I'm at the Willie Nelson concert having a good time (if it's such a good time, why do you need to be on the phone talking about it?). . . . And I found out that I am not PREGNANT (with her husband/boy friend sitting next to her)." Ok, that was WAY more than what I cared to hear. Can you imagine being so insecure and so disrespectful? What a freako!

I was really bad this weekend and bought things I shouldn't have. Most notable, a maroon boa. Also, picked up a handful of CD's.

Zach, if you haven't picked it up already, check out the new tribute to Hank Williams ("Timeless" on Lost Highway Records). If you want, I can dub a copy and mail it to you. I also got Al Green's Greatest Hits, the Farm Aid album and two old Lucinda Williams.

Monday, October 22, 2001

steph, to make the ice queen more menacing i'd go for more frightning make up. i'm thinking very dramatic dark eyes with highly arched eyebrows and sharply angular lips. (think the points of an M). perhaps also something like a frosty white in the hollows of your cheeks and under your eyes. big smears, no blending. also if your cape has jagged points on the bottom you should walk very stiffly making wide turns to give people menacing icy glares.

Obtained supplies for Halloween costume Friday night (swirly fabric covered in glittery snowflakes, white tinsel to use as a boa, frosty blue wig, large snowflake ornament to hang around neck). Then went rollerskating. !! Did the hokey pokey (angie & shelly - I was having Phil's Big 8 flashbacks - did you guys ever go rollerskating there?). They have kids limbo on rollerskates now, though you go forwards not backwards, I guess to cut down on cracked skulls. Saturday night Ted had a Logan's Run birthday party since he just turned 30. As at all parties I've been to lately, people just talked to the people they already knew, very cliquish. I finished three books I've been reading and did much laundry this weekend as well.
Angie - how was Willie?
JT - I like it when you're meta
Mike - I am hooked on Survivor (again). Who do you favor so far?

Sunday, October 21, 2001

Saw Dennis Cooper read this weekend, and Eileen Myles (i'm not really sure how I feel about readings these days). Also spent part of last week teaching Mike Kuchar (brother of George Kuchar and famous film maker in his own right) iMovie as part of his NEA Residency grant at the Squeaky Wheel. I'm full of ideas to the point where I'm paralized trying to decide which to work on first, which makes me tired so i sleep and do nothing. I wish my busy-ness wasn't a substitute for being sad.

Recently I've been typing in random domain names from whatever words pop into my head, this evening it was Neil Gaiman's 7 Endless...www.Destiny, Death, Dream, Desire, Despair Delirium (Delight), Destruction.,,, were at least somehow amusing, why someone would name their internet technologies company Delirium ( is beyond me. I didn't even try death or desire just because...cookies, you know.

I haven't come up with a Halloween costume yet but lucky me I don't know of any parties yet. Two years ago i was Andy Warhol complete with tape recorder, I managed to tape a large percentage of the party. A year later I was "last year's party" and created a diarama that contained popscicle stick replicas of the participants (the first instance of PEEPs, before they were so named) accompanied by the audio recordings I made the year before.

I've become interested in the "art of selection" in reference to several mediums, mostly video and audio varite (more in the sense of turning machines on and letting them record, more than "reality tv") as well as found art and a form that is more widely accepted (or at least needs less justification), photography and in some respects blogs like this, what we decide to say, to share and more importantly the things that don't get shared, left out or otherwise editted. What's the real difference between the parts of our lives that are considered too mundane (or important) to share here and the parts we decide to share in an effort to perhaps make them more (or less) significant. I keep waffling between the romantic idealism that every decision has some aesthetic bias and Stelarc's premise that we have no agency at all, that we are mechanisms that are constantly REACTING to the environment around us, that we have found ways to name and rationalize our reactions is itself a reaction and only confuses us more. Sorry I didn't mean to get meta, what can be worse than writing about a blog on a blog.

A drunk Cuban cokehead dude touched my face in a weirdly tender way tonight. People are off their fucking rockers, guys. I made a whopping 20 cents in tips tonight. Another group made $67 each.

Saturday, October 20, 2001

Pronounced "Vick."

Hey, what do you know, I'm tired again!

is that pronounced "VIK" or "VEEK" ? just wonderin.
i forgot how complicated it is to make chicken biriyani. i hope it turns out alright.

Is the Vique of Simba the same Vique that works for Revelation? I think I've talked to her on the phone once or twice about the magazine.

Friday, October 19, 2001

There is no cd. Not even one planned. I made a copy of some fourtrack stuff and the Cedar St show for some friends in Hickory (which they hated, by the way), but its really too stinky to be handing out. When we make something we're a little happier with I'll make copies for anybody who wants one, fiancees and bloggers included. Chris Fox really wants a copy of that stuff. I guess I should get him one.

The last three days I've been working the Furniture Market in High Point with the caterer's. It's not been bad at all actually. I really like the people I work with. Yesterday, I got to work with my friend Chrissy, which was way cool, but today we went to two different jobs. Today's job was a furniture showroom run by nutters who were, variously, Cuban, homosexual, coked up and middle-aged. It was something. They played 1970s disco hits really loud over the PA.

I was in charge of the meat cutting, which was not a gross as I feared.

The night before we worked in the Market Square building and were spread over seven floors. Chrissy and I were the only permanent employees on floors three and four. The others were temps. It wasn't as crazy as it sounds, because the market is slow this year due to fears about you-know-what. Still it was a little wild. There's not a lot of incentive for temps to do a good job, especially in a situation like that, so Chrissy and I spent a lot of time checking on stuff they should have done.

After we shut down and the temps were waiting for their ride, two of them, a man and a woman, got in to some sort of physical fight. It was something.

Last night, my roommate Benji played solo acoustic guitar at Cup A Joe for Rita's goingaway party. I missed his whole set. I got there in time to see him put his guitar down. He was really nervous, but after, he seemed to think all went well.

Upma cornered Kelly Cunningham and tried to make her scold me for not presenting Upma with an engagement ring. I'm not sure that Kelly knows Upma was joking. (I'm also not sure Upma WAS joking.) So, I'll probably get a lot of people asking me what's up. Ahh, Upma the things I go through for you.

Kelly is a lunatic. But in a good way. She once told me some story about how she got her job at Pace Publishing by putting metal foil on her teeth and antenna on her head. The story was like a bus trip through Loonytown. Which is what every conversation with her is like. I think I'd like Kelly to be my (purely platonic) new best friend.

Why am I not sleeping?

Hey Mike---the new Fugazi rules. I'm with you, buddy. Others in my house are a little put off by the slower tempos but I think it's another five star Fugazi record. I wish I was in that band. Did you get the EP. It's a winner, too.

There's a new Engine Down EP, too, I think. I haven't heard it because Lovitt isn't putting it out. I should track that down.

Also, totally great is the new Jay Z single, "H to the Izzo." I have no idea what that means, but I do know that with singles like that and Alicia Key's wicked singles and Macy Gray's new song, there is hardly any reason to listen to punk/indie/underground rock anymore. Mainstream radio r&b is happening. Maxwell's new album is tough. And that cool Nelly song that goes, "Must be the money!" I love that song.

Oh, now I am sleeping. Snore.


drama seems to be old news. i certainly hope so... i really hate stuff like that in my life, or i my friends' life. it's just so stupid. and compared to what else is goin on in the world today.... ugh. ridiculous.

on to much more important issues... zachary. what's this of Dirty Versions CD's that i'm hearing about? you're not keeping secrets from your own fiancee and the rest of your blog-mates are you?

today i went to get coffee with my friend rita b who left town today for SF for 2 months. then i went to get my hair done. i was at the salon for almost 5 hours, getting my hair dyed. it is RED. cherry red. i like it. then i went to the career center... that was actually enlightening, and almost inspriing even. i'm going back next week so they can look at my resume. then i went to go see my friends new baby... cute! precious. i told them i'd cook dinner for them tomorrow... so i'm making a fake chicken biryani. i can't wait to make it. and taste it.
then i went to target and ran into mr. hunk-a hunk-a burning blue suede shoes. that kinda made me a little bit sad, but for no good reason. i'm just tired of being alone and being rejected by guys who think they're nice. i guess none of that stuff will matter for a while anyway... while i'm in transition.

well, i better get to bed. hope you all have a good weekend

Thursday, October 18, 2001

sent to me by a friend "Today I analyzed the runoff from the ruins of the world trade center. There were thousands of flourescent lights in those buildings, and the white powder inside fluorescent lights contains lots of mercury- so much, in fact, that when one breaks in our building they have to shut that part of the lab down so the whole place doesn't get contaminated. I guess they were worried about the dust polluting the hudson river, but it wasn't that high in Hg anyway, at least not the sample I analyzed. That's the 2nd coolest sample we ever got at work, less cool than the egyptian mummy tissue, but cooler than the silicone breast implant. "

Upma, how close of a friend is this woman? If you could give two shits about her, then I would leave her pouting. But it sounds like you are bothered with this, so I'm going to have to jump on Weezie's bandwagon.

I was feeling kind of blahsey about my life yesterday for some strange reason. But I played at my watercolor class last night, then I filled out my paper work for the State Employee Charitable Campaign (TX state employee version of the United Way). I allocated a very small amount of money to Unicef, Doctors Without Borders and Canine Companions for Independence. I really wanted to give to more organizations, but I had to limit myself otherwise I'd be giving a $5 donation. Hell, it probably takes more paper work then what the donation would bring in. Anyways it made me feel better.

Upma, giving that woman clarification is important, and you might not want to wait until she asks again.

Wednesday, October 17, 2001

what a busy week... and i haven't been sleeping very well.. i've got that grad student look again with the baggy eyes and all.... it's kinda funny.
i can't remember what i've already told you... and i'm too lazy to look, so i might be repeating myself.
i have 3 pieces of good news and 1 drama trauma story.

drama trauma in a very, very small nutshell... but before i tell you that.. i want to say that what i said earlier about "greensboro breaking my heart," well... maybe not really GREENSBORO. but definitey this situation.
this woman that works at my other job is totally OBSESSED with this guy she hardly knows... every day it's "did bottle rocket come in today?" if the answer is no, she takes it personally... if the answer is yes, she's devestatd that she missed him. or if she did run into him it's, "bottle rocket came in today, did you see him talking to me? did you see how he leaned in towards me? that's a good sign isn't it? etc." it's REALLY silly... it's cute... but it's been happening every day for that last 2 months.
i made the mistake of opening my big mouth while in a conversation with friends that i thought i trusted... i made mention of the fact that i was a little frustrated with her behavior... i think she's too mature to be acting so insecure and childish over a guy. perhaps that's being too harsh... i've been known to be too harsh before. well, even though i knew i shouldn't have said that as soon as i said that.. i couldn't take it back. but i thought i was with trusted friends... and i don't think i said anything wrong to begin with. it's how i feel.... this woman whom i had the utmost respect for, is letting me down.
ok. so... the other morning, (the morning i woke up and decided it was time to move out of here) i go to the coffeeshop like normal and get my coffee... this woman approaches me and says "upma, when you have time today, i'd like to talk to you... you know how greensboro is, you know how greensboro gets, i need to talk to you about something."
ok. well, i went back in the next afternoon and she kind of cornered me and said "i've been told that you said i'm too old for bottle rocket."
RIDICULOUS. i would never say anything so ridiculous. it hurts me that she would believe that. and it hurts me more that someone i thought i could trust would twist my words and tell her that. although... there is also the possibility that my words weren't twisted... and she just heard it the way she wanted to. ok. so i told her that i never said that. but i didn't elaborate... because 1. i was tired, and getting cranky and 2. my crankiness woulda come through really bad because this conversation was frustrating me more. she said that she was going to have to go back to the person that told her that in the first place... which in my opinion is silly. that will only complicate her drama more. but... whatever.
the whole thing is just SO stupid. so so so so so stupid.
this morning when i went in for coffee... she turned her back on me.
i've decided that i'm not going to say anything else... i'm just gonna act like nothing... just normal, and if she keep sacting like this for too long... or if she asks me about it again... i'm just going to say, "i never said you were too old for him, what i did say is that i thought you were too sophisticated, and classy and mature to ba acting to insecure and childish over a guy." and that's that. i'm not sure i really care how she takes that statement... i'm totally hurt by this whole situation... and i can understand that she would be hurt too... but this drama is totally ridiculous.

please tell me if i'm wrong.. i'll be a big girl about it. i promise.

ok. so... 3 good newses:
1. i may get to do a kinda big music video... more on that as things progress
2. i may... well probably will have some video stuff posted on insound.
3. i think i've decided to move to philly in a couple months. oh. i already told you that one a few times. well... sorry.

JT, once again, you are my fairy godmother. Except without the fluffy pink dress and wand. And you aren't a fairy. Thank you especially for the variations.

Some content from the new Slave is up at I don't have direct link. Go to "Zinestand" and search under "s" for "Slave" if you want to see it. The cover is awesome.

so... my heart has been broken by greensboro. i suppose in the scheme of things... it's good timing, as i'm getting ready to scoot on outta here. i'll explain it more detail later... it's really sad, ridiculous, 8th grade type drama.

i like the plum poem. JT, you always put a smile on my face.

and to clarify... i wasn't out of town on prom day... i just boycotted. i thought YOU were out of town... you didn't want to go to the Rock*A*Teens show with me. oh, by the way... are we still engaged if/when i move to PA? can we hang out tonight, so you can tell me i'm right?


This is just to say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

-William Carlos Williams

Variations on a theme by William Carlos Williams


I chopped down the house that you had been saving to live in next summer
I am sorry, but it was morning, and I had nothing to do
and its wooden beams were so inviting


We laughed at the Hollyhocks together
And then I sprayed them with lye
Forgive me. I simply do not know what I'm doing.


I gave away the money that you had been saving to live on for the next ten years
The man who asked for it was shabby
and the firm March wind on the porch was so juicy and cold


Last evening we went dancing and I broke you leg
Forgive me. I was clumsy, and
I wanted you here in the wards, where I am the doctor!

-Kenneth Koch

I'm trying to remember a poem - I think by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, but I'm not having any luck searching under his name. It's a short little thing, in which the narrator apologizes for eating the plums that were being saved for breakfast, asks for forgiveness, says they were so sweet and so cold. It's been making me a little crazy for a couple of weeks now.

Tuesday, October 16, 2001

Tomorrow I start a six day job at the High Point furniture market. All six days are long days. About nine hours each day. If I survive, I'll have rent for the month of October. That will be nice. I have to admit I'm a little nervous though. I haven't worked two days in a row in like five months. I hope that doesn't make me sound like a lazy slob. I actually keep pretty busy, just not at a paying job. Looks like it's time to get one though. Sigh.

Dirty Version had a freakout moment when we realized that we only have five songs to play on the 25th. I don't know how we got so far behind on our new set. A sixth song is about half way down the pipeline. If we're lucky we'll learn it well enough to play on the 25th. And maybe we'll throw in a Springsteen cover that we haven't played in months. Sigh.

Rita brought over a bunch of photos from the 80s prom held in town last weekend. They make the party look like a lot of fun. I kinda regret boycotting it. I should have asked someone and gone. But who? Even Upma, my financee, was out of town. Sigh.

Thanks, Zach - as soon as the film gets developed, that'll be coming your way

...back to meetings

Steph, I'll show you the html code and I'll host the photos on my site, if you want. Just email me the photos and I'll email you the tags.

work = too many meetings
Today Ted gets the bookcase - I've taken lots of pictures and will post one once I get the film developed. I can scan the image in and save it as a .jpg, but am not sure how to get it up on the blog - zach/upma/jt - I'm looking to you for the html code on that (or if you even do it in html), thanks
Tomorrow night I'm going to the Travis concert at Stubbs. Thursday I do my shopping for Halloween costume supplies. Should be a fun week.

This weekend I volunteered at the African American Arts festival. I was supposed to be selling t-shirts but ended up answering the phones (mostly questions about directions, band schedule, admission). Sat. night my friend April and I caught the Steve Forbert show at the Mucky Duck. On Sun. I finally got my ass in gear and bought Denise's wedding present. I had been stressing over it, because they are the couple that has everything. I'm making them a baset with a few bottles of wine and some cheese crackers and chocolate for good measure.

Last night, I was glued to the TV watching the Yankees/A's game. After high school, I really hadn't watched much baseball, but this year all of a sudden, I've gotten to be a lot more into it. I think it was that Astros/Indians game I went to a few months back. I think that I've decided that I'm pulling for the Yankees to take it all. Hell, that city has been through so much hell that I think a baseball championship might do it some good.

Wed. night I start my water color class. I have never taken an art class in my life, so it should be interesting.

Monday, October 15, 2001

shelly- do you have photoshop on your computer? if so, i can tell you how to do images.
or, what kind of scanner do you have? and are you on a PC or a Mac?

zach- don't tell anyone around here about my "decision" just yet, ok? i need to finalize it in my head first. i'm scared now. i think i've narrowed it down to philly. unless one of my austin-ite friends can come up with an offer i can't refuse.

life is kinda funny sometimes... i've always been told that "it's all about timing." but today... as events in my personal life unfolded... i realized the truth to that statement.

since moving to this city, we seem to be trailed by the deeds and misdeeds of a man with the same name as my boyfriend.
call # 1: from an insurance company trying to track down the driver of a hit and run accident. the driver has the same name, but isn't my boyfriend.
call #2: from a hotel, the doppelgänger has forgotten his wallet. we learn his middle name.
call #3: today an army recruiter calls because he heard that jacob was trying to contact him regarding joining the reserves. my real boyfriend says that the only way this could be possible is if the army traced our ip address since he visited the army website looking for info about a 9/11 response.

i think i wanna get an unlisted phone number.

in other news i just took another contract from a place i swore i wouldn't work for again after the last job left me screaming and pulling my hair out hours before boarding a plane. hopefully this time it won't take double the estimated work time.
ah, the rent has to be paid somehow.

anyone with suggestions on quick and dirty ways to set up photos on the internet please let me know. all my attempts to post photos on here have failed. i have some art i wanna show you guys for some crit.

i've never been to the richard hugo house or even heard of it before this, though i have heard about their zine archive museum i could never find the source. i will check it out. thanks for bringing it to my attention.

i know i sound like a broken record... well .. a wishy washy broken record.
but... i think the universe spoke to me this morning. it said "now is the time." so... as of this morning, i think i'm planning on moving out of here by the end of the year. i know i said that i didn't want to move anywhere until i had a job lined up... but seeing as how the economy is... i think i'll settle for a temp job.
can anyone tell me why that would be a bad idea?
and can anyone tell me where i should go? i think today... the most serious considerations are DC, Philly, and Austin. not necessarily in that order.
i'm so torn... after reading steph's post, i feel like austin would be too perfect. (but so far from home)
after talking to my friend up in DC, i feel like DC/Arlington would be too perfect. (but enough film stuff?)
and i dunno... philly just smells... familiar. (but i only know 2 people... one of whom could hook me up seriously with film stuff).

this weekend was balls of fun. literally. friday night I went to the batting cages. it was for my friend paul's birthday. and that's where he wanted to go. I stuck to the slow softball pitch and didn't suck. the boys had a bit of testosterone thing going on over at the fast baseball cages. whatever. then inside to get totally trounced by ted at air hockey. mark my words, there will be a rematch. then playing ski-ball and giving all my tickets to paul so he could buy himself something nice, or at least something fun and plastic. but then the rain started. and turned into some tornado/hurricane/hail storm. trash cans were flying over the parking lot. trees were blown sideways. all video games were turned off (and ted had just gotten to the 22nd level of Galaga) while we were evacuated into the back room at Putt-Putt. No windows. Just 20 people waiting out the storm. Some employees, obviously bored, offered $5 to anyone who would eat the frog they found. Luckily the storm died down before they got any takers. the next day, my car looked like I'd taken it to the mud wash.
saturday was fun as well. got my haircut. well, that wasn't the fun part. saw Serendipity. not too bad. have any of you ever eaten at Serendipity in New York? I highly recommend their frozen hot chocolate. but I digress. then over to my friends mona and jessie's apartment to play Apples to Apples. Now I can't say enough fun things about this card game. Everyone had a good time. Even me though I was LOSING. Losing, people, and I was the one who had bought the game and coerced everyone into playing it and was LOSING. BADLY. (I didn't understand - I did so well when I'd played in Beeville with my friend Elena's family) In fact, when I finally scored one point, I got off the couch and ran a victory lap around the apartment. Jessie's friend Jill won (she had 16 points to my pitiful 5). After that Ted and I watched Kicking and Screaming. I so love that movie.
Sunday my friend Lorrie dragged me out of bed and we went to the gym. 1 1/2 hour workout. And I was already sore from the batting cages (don't laugh - slugging away at almost 50 pitches total can make a girl sore). Then I went to my friend kristen's bday BBQ. then out to dinner with some of Ted's friends and then over to the friends' house to watch space ghost coast to coast. all in all, a very full weekend.

Saturday, October 13, 2001

Shelly, have you gone to the Richard Hugo House (1634 11th Ave 206-322-7030)? I met Frances McCue today at a writers conference and she talked about "open space"...I'm wondering if it can be possible to have a place as wonderful as she makes it sound.

Friday, October 12, 2001

z. check yer e. are you in g'boro this weekend?

i thought this article made some good observations about the burgeoning anti-war movement, although it still offered no solutions.

Angie, thank you for taking the nails away from me. ("No, really, I wasn't going to crucify myself..."). As it stands now, I think it would be much better for me to not talk to him for a while, because his latest ex and I just had one of those "He did that to you too?!?" conversations. His ears must have just burst into flame.

I told you I would be back. Ok, I have a rant (surprise, surprise).

What the hell was up with that FBI warning of possible potential attacks but not sure when or where or how??? Report suspicious activity (no shit). But go on life routinely. What the hell is that bullshit? People are already freaking out as it is, and then the damn governement issues alarmist shit like "beware of evreything." No, no, that wasn't alarmist or anything.

Zach, I thought of you last night when I was watching Bush. He basically said, "Americans are great. I don't know why people in other parts of the world hate us. They have no reason to."

it's my day off. i woke up late. (at 10). i'm going to get coffee now. and then: do laundry, go swimming, buy a baby shower gift, work on the CV (cirriculum vitae-- a long form of the resume which lists everything about you down to your shoe size), work on music video treatments (which i'll tell you more about later), make dubs of my Doleful Lions music video and dubs of the last time K (karla schikele) played at Gatecity Noise, and i also will clean my house today and go to a dinner party at 8.
alright. gotta go catch meredith at the Joe.

On crush nicknames. For me, a boy can have more than one nickname, for different phases of the crush. For example, one went from "the boy" to "skin so soft, teeth so straight" to "Nick the Dick." But for me, the negative names only help push you through the yuck stage. Other former nicknames: simple-minded fuck (for the ex of ex's), Charlie Chickenshit, Granola, Lonesome Cowboy.

I feel like goofing off all day today, but I've got work to do. Two things that are not so interesting. Rrrgh. You may be hearing from me again later today.

Thursday, October 11, 2001

JT, as always, magnifique! i like the disco ball effect a lot.

i feel much better today than i have in quite a while. we had a resurgence of sunny fall weather. leaves changing color, the whole bit. i got a postcard from a friend in nyc. we've talked since last month but it was really good to get the collage from him, to know that he's alive and especially working. we're collaborating on a mail art project that i'll let ya'll know about as soon as i have the cash to set up the po box. i also worked for the first time in a long time. it was with a painter who i really enjoy. it got me kind of fired up again. i've been lifting weights a little bit recently, which makes me feel good. (i tell you more to make myself keep doing it than any other reason.) i think the more i HAVE to do, the more other things i get done. things always seem to come in cycles for me but i guess momentum really is true.
i feel very in tune with the season. things are changing. ideas are in a flurry. i must gather and store them quickly before they flutter past me to the ground in a whirl of anticipation or remorse. i need enough projects burning bright to warm me since i don't know how long this winter will last.

Last Thursday my friend Meg came into town to take care of some unfinished business from when she lived here. We spent the weekends running errands, sent off my passport application, bought a grommet tool from putting snaps and eyelettes in clothing, dyed my hair key lime pie green with little bits of purple that are quickly fading to blue. Saturday night saw Andy Warhol's Screen Test #2 and a film by Ron Rice called Chum Lum which Tony Conrad did the soundtrack for. Sunday Played guitar with Ghen, two guitars, two voices, I think something interesting might happen.

I'm not exactly sure how it happened but I'm playing trumpet in several ensembles now, the University Orchestra, the Contemporary Music Ensemble and the "Baird Wind Octet" (which only has 5 members, of which only 2 play wind instruments). So rehearsals galores for me, general busy-ness.

I made a new flash animation for my friend's birthday. If you've got some time on your hands and are completely bored you can check it out. It's got a lot of poor french in it but it also features part of a track from the latest Daft Punk album which is one of the few things that's put a smile on my face recently.

On the nickname issue: I found that most of the people I know who assign nicknames to crushes are females. I become more fascinated by the actual name of the person, I'm more likely to write the persons name a hundred times on a piece of paper while daydreaming than come up with a nickname. I think both are sort of insanely possesive acts and totally cute (if not necessary) at the same time.

Upma - I luv the rock-a-teens. That would be a fun show. And my vote goes to chisel goof. Mine all seem to be some variation on boy - sci-fi boy, apartment boy, the aforementioned waterloo boy, etc.

i'm a little behind on the blog reading... but i wanted to chime in on the nicknames thing. i used to do that all the time for everyone. i've gotten lazier over the years... but i am going to give my potential new boy toy a nick... perhaps you can help, i can't decide between "chisel goof" ; "pretty GQ" ; and "porn star."
oh dammit. i totally know which one you guys like. i kinda like chisel goof. i'm still deciding.

well.. while i'm here, let me tell you what. i have to do a CV. a whole CV! apparently in acedemia a resume just doesn't cut it. i knew that... so i have to do a CV. there's my weekend. oh... and a dinner party on friday. maybe the rock a teens on saturday... i REALLY want to go... but not to chapel hill by myself. everybody else i know will be at the punk rock 80's prom. i'm boycotting.

Angie - as Shelly could tell you, they all get nicknames, at least at the beginning. My favorite nicknames include mr. sugar packets, waterloo boy and "just friends."
I spent last night putting a second coat of paint on the bookcase by flashlight. I hope no moths got trapped under the "evening blue" paint. This week it just seems like there isn't enough time in the day. That and I've actually spent time watching paint dry.

I know I complain about my job at times, but I really do love it. It's really nice when you meet interesting people. And being the big nerd that I am, I love being in academia. Last night was the teach-in. Basically, the speakers presented on how life was going to change following the Sept. 11 events -- from immigration laws to civil liberties to racial profiling. One of the most interesting speakers was the last one -- for me at least. She has never been a protest leader, but she has participated in several since the 70's. Basically she gave advice to members of the audience who were looking to get involved in the peace movement and how they should start. I thought it was a good perspective. Today is national depression screening day, and I think I've befriended the clinical psychologist who is heading up all of the free screenings to the public today.

The Astros are sucking ass. They lost TWO home games. That means they HAVE to win the next three in Atlanta. *sigh*

Zach, COOL flyer.

Stephanie, if you have a chance, post/e-mail a pic of the bookcase for us. I'm curious to see the end product. BTW, do you come up with nick names for all your boys, too, or is "biscuit" just a general term? I love it! My boys have nick names, too.

Weezie, don't feel like you have to take on the world (a former friend used to refer to it as a "Christ complex). Just don't let dumb peeps bring ya down.

Wednesday, October 10, 2001

bmpI've become Mr. Oddjobs. Today I worked for Record Exchange clearing out old racks and security cases. The work wasn't too bad. I'm going back on Friday.

Yesterday's band practice went pretty well. I think we're ready for our next show.

Here's the flyer I made. Thank god for the internet or I'd never find images like this one.

I went to a wedding on Saturday - people I knew at UH. Back then, we never thought Bobby would be the first to have a "real" job and house and get married...Bobby, whose primary talents back then were Elvis impersonation and getting me to laugh so hard cake would fly out my nose. Erica, super jock, looked gorgeous in a simple cream gown, even stomping across the reception hall as if she were still in sweats and sneakers. Ordinary for Erica is highly adventurous for the rest of us - they wrote their own vows, part of which is a promise to challenge each other through their lives. I was watching Bobby's face when that part came up; he compressed his lips while his right eyebrow shot up, his "dontlaughdontlaughdontlaugh" face. I wore a dress, I spent half an hour on my hair, I stepped out onto the beach the ceremony was held on and laughed as my coiffure went back to Lord of the Rings extra (and we're not talking Cate Blanchett elves). I went with an ex I haven't spoken to in a couple of was odd. I felt so neutral, so nothing...not happy or bitter or...anything. And he came across as so negative and shallow and unhappy. I had no desire to keep in touch after the wedding, but I think I will, just to try to get him to talk about positive things, although it was so annoyingly difficult to make conversation when he would start ranting about how much he hated the topic and revealing just how little he knew about it at the same time. I mentioned "Better Living Through Circuitry" and he just went off about how much he hates ravers, although my point was that like punk rock, electronica can mean that music production is back in the hands of the fans. Instead, I got treated to five minutes of how stupid ravers are with their all-inclusive lovefest and toys. I went shoe shopping the next day with his most recent ex, and we participated in his worst nightmare - we talked about him.

Angie - the shoes look like ballet slippers, but with no back, and red. The shows were 42nd Street (lots of oldtime broadway tunes and tap dancing), Proof (dark play about math starring Jennifer Jason Leigh), Kiss me, Kate (musical version of the Taming of the Shrew), and the Tale of the Allergist's Wife (funny Jewish humor, starring Valerie Harper).
Upma - the Frick Collection is around 70th and Park. It was one millionaire robber baron who spent a lot of his money buying early 19th century art. Very little modern. Lots of roccoco (that was 19th century, right? My art history is rusty), Rooms full of Fragonard, lots of society portraits. But all housed, in well, a house. A different art viewing experience.
It has been INSANE at work this week. I had photo shoots on Monday at 9, 10:30, 11, 1, 2, and 3 and two of those involved dogs (which was so much fun - I wished I worked at a place that allowed dogs) Then yesterday I was in a seven hour VV meeting. yes, seven. Then I went home and put the primer coat on ted's birthday present bookcase. Did laundry, went to the grocery store, cleaned my house with a swiffer (I love that product - have you ever tried it? fantastic). and went to bed sometime at midnight after being productive girl.
So I figured out what I want to be for halloween - An Ice Queen (shoutout to shelly - ooh, girl, you're so cold). I bought a blue silvery wig last night and want to drape plastic icicles all over my body. Can't wait!
Oh, so I have some biscuit drama.Did I ever tell you guys how he dated this girl michelle after me? but neither of them saw fit to tell me about it until a month or two after the fact. well, in new york, I'm talking with the biscuit and my friend ann about people moving to new york and boston, and I mention that michelle wants to move to boston all from when she hooked up with some married man there (real classy, yes). It turns out michelle did this hooking up when she was still dating the biscuit. oops! he called me last night to let me know that she knows that he knows and she knows he knows from me. great....drama. but whatever. Don't really care about those two.
Zach - please pass on congratulations again to your brother. That's really great.

Tuesday, October 09, 2001

ok. 2 quick things:
1. has anyone else seen hedwig? you MUST.
2. and if you read this before 9am wed. morning and happen to be near a TV at that time.. go to NBC. my fellow filmmaker Eric Saperston is getting interviewed on Good Morning America... he made this very beautiful road doc, and it is getting distributed (YAY!!!!!!!!!). there are lots of great people in his doc including the Fonz, and overner Ann Richards of TX. that's another one you MUST see. it'll make you laugh. it'll make you cry. it really is one of the most beautiful films i have ever come across.

btw shelly... i'm on the ramen noodle diet again for awhile too. it'll be ok soon.

i haven't written anything in a long time. i still don't have much to say. i was out of town for three weeks. it impacted me pretty badly financially. the rest of this year is going to be extrememly tight. i have to go back to new orleans at the beginning of november.
i'm finding making anything extremely difficult. i'm not sure what tone to take. writing is the same way. i wish i weren't so stumped. i've got lots of time since i've got no jobs. i had the flu which has wound down to an annoying persistent cough so my excuse for lounging in front of the news is gone. i feel very restless.
i went to vancouver recently. it really is a cool city. very beautiful. modern, urban, and clean with the most fabulous public parks i've ever seen. eating in nice restaurants at a very beneficial exchange rate is fun. crossing the border wasn't too bad.

Monday, October 08, 2001

this weekend was pretty alright. i met a new friend which was super exciting for me. he's actually from philly and is friends with gavin and chris. chris' band just got back from tour last week, and demian (the guy from philly) hung around for a few days before heading home. now, demian... in addition to rocking hard... is a film nut. he worked for a big shot production company in nyc before quitting and going on tour with the band. anyway... it was so cool to talk to him about stuff... i was re-inspired.
and then zach and i saw Hearts in Atlantis. do yourselves a favor.. don't go see it.
i don't think there's anything else exciting to talk about.
stephanie. what's the frick?

Thad and Meredith married this morning. My parents got to be witnesses.

I managed to avoid matrimony yet another day. In fact, I managed to avoid the opposite sex altogether. The more things change...

I tried to write songs today. I have several batches of lyrics to write and I'm behind. Last week, I showed the band a song that just confounded the hell out of them. Tomorrow, we're going to work on it again and I hope that it starts happening. We scrapped all but two songs of our set and decided to write new ones for our Oct 25th show. So far so good. I wrote something today that I hope we'll have time to learn by then. I

If I didn't have this band I don't know what I'd do. I wouldn't have anything at all to think about.

Our dryer is broken.

Stephanie, what shows did you catch? Tell me more about the SHOES ;)

So did I ever mention that deep down I have a fear of becoming like my three unmarried aunts over 40 who have yet to be deflowered? Yes, I'm talking about the Yoplait aunts. This weekend, I got some QT with them. Tinnie, who is 42 years old, has been living in Houston for 10 plus years but still has not registered to vote. In fact, she has only voted ONCE in her ENTIRE life. Damn. Oh yeah, to add on to the Yoplait story . . . my mom had a special event for work and had some leftover fried chicken. Tinnie called my mom and asked her to send the chick with Peggy (aunt who lives in NOLA that came to visit this weekend). Now, it's not like it was a special recipe chick or anything -- it was from FREAKIN' Albertson's.

Learned something interesting this weekend. Puff Daddy at 20 years old was the youngest record executive in the industry. His first launch was Jodeci ("Come and Talk to Me"), and he helped launch Mary J. Blige. Who knew?

I'm back from New York. What an amazing trip. Saw four plays in three days. Went wedding dress shopping with my friend Ann. Saw some photography exhibits, took lots of pictures, bought cute shoes, cried in front of a fire station covered in flowers, hung out with the biscuit, and went to the Frick.

Saturday, October 06, 2001

Have I mentioned that there have been 26 confirmed cases of dengue fever here? Not just on one island, either. The last little blow to the tourist economy - yay! Except maybe the state will spray everything to control mosquitoes now.

Friday, October 05, 2001

Yesterday Sarah and I went driving around, trying to find a park that wasn't overrun by kids and joggers. Found one, laid out a blanket in a corner, unpacked our exotic cheese assortment and bottle of red wine, settled in, started having intense conversation...and then a kids soccer team started their practice. There's something about munching cranberry cheese, discussing Bell Hooks, and having fifteen kids go charging around you while the coach hollers at them to WATCH THE SPECTATORS! GET AWAY FROM THERE! I love the assurance that kids have - of course they can get within inches of our picnic basket; they know they won't screw up and hit us or anything. Plus there were the two dogs in the yard behind us, who very protectively started barking like mad whenever the kids got too close to us. I couldn't stop laughing.

Thursday, October 04, 2001

so z. are you working for The Painted Plate. or Ellyns, or something else? are you working with Joe Garrigan? you love him.

I'm liking working for this catering company. I think I might stick around after the furniture market (which is what I was hired to work) if they want me. I had a really nice time today. The work is totally laidback. Plus, I got to hang out with Chrissy Walker pretty much all day. She's oldschool Greensboro, but I didn't really know her until recently. It's amazing how many people there are who I've seen around for like seven years and don't know anything about.

Greensboro's ArtHop was tonight. Not much happening this year. Usually downtown is full of people and the stores are full of artwork. This year is was basically just the Kress building that had anything. Yawn. John won honorable mention for some photography. Go John.

Go Slave, too. Today, Desert Moon upped their preorder to 800 copies. Wow. That means that more people know who we are than we expected. Issue #6 goes to the printer tomorrow. I'll make sure you all get one.

i'm totally wired. (which is also the title of the greatest song by The Fall).
i showed my sucky-ass thesis film to some people yesterday... of course Gary, the bartender (played by zachary mull), got the most hoots and hollers.
i actually have work to do today.... so i better go do it.

Wednesday, October 03, 2001

San Diego. My brother will probably be spending half the year there, one of my bestest friends will be moving there to take care of her grandmother...hmm. The economy here is seriously tanking; unemployment keeps rising and job prospects are diiiiiiiiiim, especially for people like me with little in the way of valuable job skills. I don't think I'd go until next year anyway...just something to think about for now. Like maybe I'll go to Indiana for the spring, then meet Sarah in L.A. and drive to Connecticut. Maybe take a graphic design course online this winter. Maybe finish all those crafty projects while I'm at it. Oh, wait, there's still that acre in the back that needs clearing.

Zach, what a cinematic moment - protagonist comes home to cold water and depressing conversation after sunburned catering day. Listens to Elton John.

My mother gave me my great-grandfathers sketchbook. Well, she calls it a sketchbook. It's this enormous book of stained glass designs in watercolor. I feel like such an untalented failure when I look at it, and then I get inspired. I'd like to copy some of them and paint it onto silk organza for screens or even silk velvet panels. I'm not sure yet how to copy the watercolors without damaging them; they were done on good paper and stored well, but it's been oh, 90, 100 years.

Upma, good luck with the job search!

I had pretty good day, but I'm really bummed anyway. I worked today for a catering company. It was okay actually. The people were nice. The work was easy. I'm sunburned which is not so pleasant, but it was not a bad way to spend a day. Then I got home and, I don't know, I started to feel really down. I'm broke. Our hot water is off for another day or so. I got a brush-off from somebody that I was kinda hoping would want to talk to me. There have been too many "Evan/Dave was so wasted..." stories going around here. Sigh. My band got asked to do another show that got voted down 3 to 1. This time for our friend Rita. We should do it. I'm a little embarrassed that we aren't.

Things will look better tomorrow and all that.

I've been listening to the second, third and fourth Elton John records lately. I think they are making me discontent with my life. Or at least they are giving shape to it. I don't think Elton John albums (even the good ones) should have that effect on a person. Tumbleweed Connection has a really nice song, whose title, it must be admitted is better than the song. It's called, "Where to Now, St. Peter." With a title like that what music could possibly deliver? I've been playing "I Feel Like a Bullet in Gun of Robert Ford" and "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" a lot also. The lyrics are mostly nonsense but the melodies are so beautiful and sad. I wish that guy hadn't turned into such a hack. Its hard to remember how talented he is.

I'm off to New York tomorrow. Have a nice weekend everyone.

oh no... i'm not really losing hope. i know that in times like these, i have to be patient. i'm accepting that. but in the meantime... i'm still looking. i'm just not expecting much... that's all. hopefully, i'll be pleasantly surprised.

Upma, hang in there and don't lose hope. I know it's easier said than done, but you'd be surprised at how many oppotunities unfold when you least expect it.

Stephanie, I'll let you know more details on the Austin trip next week. How is the b-day present coming along? Those shoes sound so CUTE.

Yesterday's highlight: I went to this cool place called the Chocolate Bar. They sell all kinds of chocolate in all kinds of shapes -- all made in the store. I got a b-day present when I noticed the chocolate covered fruit -- raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, apples. I got the choc covered banana which was AMAZINGLY SCRUMPTIOUS.

I'm also pretty proud of myself for the present I bought there. There is a friend boy I met last year at this KPFT volunteer appreciation party. Somehow I managed to win an Epiphone electric guitar. After I won it, he came up to ask me if he could play it. Since then I accuse him of having guitar envy. So, at the store, I found this chocolate bar in the shape of a guitar. In the card, I will write "Maybe this will cure your envy . . . guitar, that is."

when you can't do... teach.
so, i'm looking for a teaching job for next semester. we'll see how it goes... right now it looks like i may have a chance at getting a sound production class at UNCG. oh, the irony. although... the way my luck has been lately... i'm not going to expect anything to work out.

Tuesday, October 02, 2001

Angie - I'd love to meet up again when you're in town. And I've never been to the gospel brunch either. I'd be interested in that.
Whenever I go to Luby's, I get a plate of starch. Deeelicious.
Crazy schedule after work - go home, find package of new red shoes ordered in the mail (they're cherry red and clogs and most divine), start laundry, go on run, shower, finish laundry, meet up for season premiere of buffy (buffy lives!!!) at my friend kristen's house, watch 2 hour event, meet up with ted, go to bar downtown for friend's birthday (this will be the ninth october birthday for those keeping count), sleep.
Zach - please pass on my congrats to Thad as well.

Awesome news about Thad.

Stephanie, before I forget I will be in Austin Oct. 20 and 21. Staying at the Homestead Suites off of 6th somewhere. Coming in with Kyle. I am trying to talk him into going to Stubbs for the gospel brunch, because I have never been but heard good things. I may end up staying Sunday night, too, but I'm not sure yet. TBD

This afternoon I rallied a group into going to Luby's (cafeteria type place similar to Picadilly's/Morrison's). I like going to those places on occassion, in spite of the fact that I am generally the youngest one by two generations.

Man, Joe Ely is coming to Houston for a solo acoustic show in Nov. It is going to be a rockin' show, but tickets are $25. I could probably find a friend or two to go with me, but I just don't know. That's a lot of money for an hour and a half show.

we ought to have a greensboro-after-wedding/honeymoon-party for the happy couple. we can bake lots of cakes for them and have fany-pants vegetarian/vegan foods.

i spent all day yesterday sick in bed... it was the weirdest thing... i just got this awful fever all of a sudden on sunday night. of course this happened right after i thought that "geez... i've been pretty lucky for a while... i can't remember being too sick since new years 2000." you just can't be cocky about anything. i'm back on my feet today, but i still feel slightly weak... no working out for a couple days.

i saw ghost world again this weekend... as well as zoolander. that was a funny flick!

Monday, October 01, 2001

I don't know if Thad is ever going to post to this group again, so I'll tell you. He and Meredith are getting married in two weeks. None of you are invited, but that's okay cause none of us are invited either. They're going to Savannah Georgia and getting hitched. I think everyone is totally excited for them. They rule.

Highlights of the weekend:
-eating bar fries and listening to my friends jessie and jill discourse on men and the universe
-petting goats and wrapping a bride-to-be in a toilet paper gown at an engagement party
-seeing Zoolander
-shopping for bookcase decorating supplies

I had the best weekend. Annette had dinner waiting for me when I got in on Friday night. She made the best BBQ ribs (they were so tender and juicy), potatoes au gratin and creamed spinach. She also had a tomato salad, but I don't eat raw tomatoes. Then later that night we went to Super K-mart, for old time's sake. Was annoyed because the fitting room closed at 10:30, and it was 10:45 when we got there. So we walked down the lamp ailse and at the end was a line of full length mirrors for sale. Of course, being from the ghetto, I started trying on clothes in the middle of the ailse. I got some practice in manuevering, but in the end it all worked out. Net said that the people running the security cameras were probably laughing their asses off. Do what you gotta do. Did lots of shopping, as to be expected. Played with my nieces (her two dogs), visited with her in-laws, made it to Phil's for an oyster po-boy and shrimp remoulade, had a facial and a brow wax, and ate chicken marsala from Semolina's.

Also got an e-mail from my friend Kyle's mom. She lives in Lafayette and wanted to meet up with me on Sunday when I was passing through. We went to McDonald's and each got an soft serve cone. It was a nice visit, although I KNOW what she is thinking. She's trying to pave the road so that I will marry her son. Funny.

Today I am helping Denise with her wedding portraits.