Shelly - I like your haikus.
So I started my photo class last night and discussed with the teacher doing a joint class this summer. Photography Field Trips. We'd teach it together. Taking the class to different photogenic spots around town - picking a different topic per spot - one class - people, second class - point of view, third class - film type or shutter speed or lens choice and so on and so on. I'm really excited about teaching it. I hope it all works out.
Meanwhile at work, I've been handed a bunch new projects. It's stressing me out. I'll be at work all this weekend clearing stuff off my desk. (but at least the overtime will help pay for the new computer - so it all works out in the end).
And we had a meeting at work today to brainstorm ideas to make our work environment more enjoyable, more efficient. My favorite (whispered to me, sitting in the back row) - replace our carpet with sand, it's nice on the feet. If I had my way, I'd knock down all the cube walls, fill the place with plants, let pets wander around (and have air humidifiers so the allergy folks don't suffer), get soft, twinkly lighting, have a water fountain or some soothing sound, maybe wooden chimes. Have open spaces for people to meet and brainstorm, but also offices where you can close the door and close out distractions. A place to show off work you're proud of and hang ideas that worked. Pillows if you want to work on the floor. Laptops you can check out if you want to work outside. Plenty of storage space. Open lines of communication. Free healthy snacks and water and some cookies and candy as well. An outdoor track if people want to walk around the building. Meeting rooms that encourage good ideas.
But, in reality, I'm sure not much will change.
Okay - back to work.

a black cat crossed my path
or maybe it didn't. it was a little in the distance
maybe it wasn't completely black, maybe it had a blondie spot on its belly

a dude offered to share his 40, his backpack, and his two dogs with me, in a no-strings-attached relationship.
i declined.
the dogs were not cute enough

one computer was left, (of the computer-parts mobile in the oaks)
dangling from the tree,
mouse flapping furiously in the breeze


i saw a van half covered in broken mirrors
like a discoball
do the broken mirrors cancel out the black cat?

i saw an electrical wire hanging
unattached
i wonder if it was a livewire?


a cat, a man, a computer, a van,
and a livewire!

patsy cline is singing just for me



jacob made a powerpoint presentation about a guy in the dorms whose body odor index was reaching critical mass. it included pie charts.

i found a poem by margaret atwood called "variations on the word sleep"
an excerpt:
I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.

-Margaret Atwood

pablo neruda is also good. it makes me want to learn spanish well enough to read them in the original language.
something about the repetetivness of my job is emphasizing my obsessive traits. i've been trying to figure ways to answer the phone in haiku without getting in trouble.

I love analyzing dreams. I used to be pretty good about writing them down when I woke up. A teacher told me that after you write them down, go back and underline all the parts which seem significant to you. Then free associate a list of words that, for you, are related to the major topics in your dream. Look for a pattern. Think about what's going on with your life right now.
In other news, I just bought an iBook!! And a scanner. And will soon be pestering you guys to go look at photos I plan on putting up. I'm brainstorming web site domain names. So far I like, theflashbulb, but the dotcom is gone, so I can be theflashbulb.biz or .org or something like that.

what the dream dictionaries say:

MERMAID:
Mysterious, secretive, female part of yourself, sexual fear, doubt of femininity, relates to love life, interpretation dependent on mood of dream

BONDAGE:
Tightly controlled or repressed emotion, bound by circumstance, unacknowledged sexual desires, desire to submit

COSTUMED:
Hiding true self, façade, duplicity with fear of being found out

AQUARIUM:
Unconfronted emotions, repressed sexuality, need for down time, or need for clarity and direction in life

SWIMMING:
Exploring unconscious mind and emotions. Also connection to feminine side. Mood of dream effects interpretation. Clear, calm, cold, steady flowing water = good. Dirty water, rough water, hot water, spilling water, stagnant water= bad. In need of support. If completely underwater, submerged in feelings and forced to deal with difficulties.

WINDOW:
Directs focus.


While I’m at it: a few other recent ones from the “can’t fly to Chicago dream” and the”airport dreams with laser beams”

AIRPORTS:
Search for freedom. Looking for new paths or changes in life.

CLOCKS/WATCHES:
Pay attention to time. Don’t waste!

LASER:
Pinpoints and lights a focus for clarity and/or further attention.

TICKET:
Ability to get through difficulties easily. Forgotten or lost ticket = confusion or lack of direction.

WEAPONS:
Reaction to aggressive sexual feelings. Feelings of inadequacy.

That's exactly the kind of dream I would wish for you to have, Shelly. Me... I just have dreams about boning other dude's girlfriends. I pray for the mermaid dream.

i rarely remeber my dreams. i had a dream that i was fitted with a costume mermaid tail. it bound my legs tightly. i was learning to swim in a huge glass tank. i could hold my breath for a really long time. i was much more powerful with the tail so i had to learn control. the first time i pumped my tail i shot sideways so far that i nearly banged into the glass tank. people were watching from bleachers outside the tank.

i am aware that this dream is an analyst's field day.

So 85 people were laid off at my work yesterday. We had to sit at our desks for two hours waitng to see if we'd get a phone call or not telling us we'd been laid off. I still have a job. But it was horrible.

Christ, I'm on the geek chart. I fall as far as "Trekkie," which I have learned to be neither proud nor defensive about. It simply is. I know Kirk's homestate and Picard's nephew's name and all that. I just do.

Louise, please tell me you know a furry.

Zach - the design looks great - thanks for putting time into this. Angie - that is such exciting news! Good luck with everything!

Yeah, I noticed that too. I'll fix it.

Here's my proposal for a new Lake Effect frontpage. The links don't work, yet. Good Intentions is the site I use to test this stuff.

Click here.

Each link will go to a page like

this

with individual links off the site and a bio and a picture (?).

Tell me what you think. And give me suggestions for what should go in the bio part.

Did any of you guys watch the Golden Globes this weekend? I was in a pool, but did horribly.

PPPPPP iiii n n k k
P P iiii n n n k k
PPPPPP iiii n n n k k
P iiii n n n k k
P iiii n n k k
P iiii n n k k
P iiii n n k k

Consider, if you will:

Like a blade of a sword I am forged in flame
I was conceived in a raging forest fire. My parents were strolling in the woods in the spring of 1975. They were in love, their bootcut trousers flapping in the wind. And around them a terrible storm blew up. The were consumed by the passion of the world around them. Lightning split a tree, flames raced across the brush, in the only untouched hill in all of the forest, I was created,

Fiery hot
I've heard this said of me. I suspect some of you might have said it as well.

Tempered steel fire-bright to the night I take
For those of you whom I have not met, I am indeed cut. Cut like a fat check. Cut like a canyon. Cut like Michaelangelo's David's more cut older brother.

I fear not
Indeed.

Now compelled by something I cannot see
The spirit of adventure moves me, keeps me alert and dissatisfied. Possibly the reason I have no job.

I go forth surrendering to history
I've long know that fate guides my actions. A witchy woman told my mother, before I was born, "You've got a boy child coming... gonna be a son of a gun."

Your glory, I swear I ride for thee
Your power, I trust it rides with me
Your servant, I am and ever shall I be
This grand enterprise... the human race. For its glory.

Through a dream
I have a come to an ancient door
Lost in the mist
Did I tell you all about this dream? Big door. Very ancient. Very misty.

I have been there a hundred times or more
Pounding my fists
I have this crazy dream all the time. I'm just pounding away on a old door in the fog.

Now inside, the fire of the ancient burns
So, finally I go in and I see into the past, Great Fire of 1975. And I see, you know, the lighting and the fire and the hill... cue the music, right?

A boy goes in and suddenly a man returns
Well, this line is a little off. I mean, I don't feel like I went in a boy and I don't feel like I returned a man. I feel like I returned a-shamed. ha ha Get it? No one should have to see their parents doing it.

I gave my word and gained a key
I gave my heart and set it free
There's no turning back from this odyssey
And I promised those two humping people that I would be a hero. That I would ride into danger. And I would confront evil. And I would find the thing at the end of the odyssey.

Because I feel so alive suddenly
And I wonder, is this really me?

But, recently I've come to wonder. Could my fate lie elsewhere. True, the vision was powerful. But, perhaps I should be a scholar or an artist, not a mystic warrior. Only time will tell. Until then I must bare this burden... alone.

hmm. i think i need to hear that song. i'm feeling it.

"The Oath" by KISS

Like a blade of a sword I am forged in flame
Fiery hot
Tempered steel fire-bright to the night I take
I fear not
Now compelled by something I cannot see
I go forth surrendering to history
Your glory, I swear I ride for thee
Your power, I trust it rides with me
Your servant, I am and ever shall I be

Through a dream
I have a come to an ancient door
Lost in the mist
I have been there a hundred times or more
Pounding my fists
Now inside, the fire of the ancient burns
A boy goes in and suddenly a man returns

I gave my word and gained a key
I gave my heart and set it free
There's no turning back from this odyssey
Because I feel so alive suddenly
And I wonder, is this really me?

---

The similarities between this song and my life are truly astonishing.

and cemetary man.

wide sargasso sea, orlando, toys. all dreamy looking.

i'm rewatching delicatessen, city of the lost children, and amelie.

Some movies from my NetFlix queue:

Spider-Man   Sci-Fi & Fantasy   Now
  Maze   Drama   Now
  East Is East   Foreign   Now
    Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon   Foreign   Now
  The Adventures of Baron Munchausen   Foreign   Now
  The Powerpuff Girls Movie   Children & Family   Now
    Snatch   Thrillers   Now
  Ghost World   Indie   Now
  Notorious   Thrillers   Now
  Little Voice   Comedy   Now
  Smoke Signals   Comedy   Now
  American Movie   Indie   Now
  In the Bedroom   Indie   Now
  Princess Mononoke   Anime   Now
  Lovely and Amazing   Drama   Now
  Highball   Drama   Now
  Enigma   Thrillers   Now
  Best of the Muppet Show: Children & Family   Now
  The Man Who Wasn't There   Drama   Now
  Storytelling   Comedy   Now
  The Big Lebowski

past movies rented:
Moulin Rouge
Happy Times
Hedwig and the Angry Inch

So I started doing some online job searching today. Anything with "photo" in the description. Austin - nothing. It seems all the jobs I'm interested in are in actual cities - Chicago, New York and DC mostly. Now we haven't started the layoffs yet - so this is just prep work - but I hate the thought that my dream job wouldn't be in my dream city. Upma - you moved for a job and it seems to be going great. I just hate the thought of leaving safe, friendly Austin.

good luck at class, upma!

stinkers.

Well- you still plan on screening it someplace in town, right? I really want to see it.

Upma - which festival was it? And that sucks. Fools - all of them.
Angie - do you ever go to the Continental Club in Houston? I went to the Austin one last night - I think it's my favorite bar music-wise in Austin. Saw some great danceable rockabilly/swing. This guy called D. B. Harris. Right now I'm listening to the Detroit Cobras - someone at work lent it to me. Very Neko Case. I like it.

you can get chipotle peppers in a can here. i am in love with them. they are the perfect condiment for every meal.

We're having layoffs at work at the end of the month. I'm okay either way. I welcome a change and I hope for stability. We'll see. Until then, trying not to worry.
Upma - how long are you going to be here for SXSW? I'm trying to plan which days I want to take off for maximum movie watching/free music shows during the day attending. Also - I watched about 5 minutes of Joe Millionaire and couldn't stop giggling, but had to leave for yoga before I saw anything good.
new favorite things: smell of peppermint tea, the click of knitting needles, the snooze button (this shouldn't count as a new favorite thing - it's just happening more often now that vacation is over)
new least favorite things: dried out eyeballs from computer work, the sadness when holiday friends go back to their various cities, the lady who lives below me leaving out so much food for the birds that I feel like Tippi Headren every time I leave the house now

Surprising things from yesterday
- I bought a cowboy hat (one of those more floppy straw ones) when I never thought I would
- I tried sake and really liked it
- I found myself drawn to the color pink

Happy post-holidays everyone. I'm finally back at work. Not having internet at home is nice sometimes, but I missed you guys. I went to Michigan for Christmas - made a snow volcano, ate lots of rich foods, danced to Romanian music. We went to a small party for New Years in Austin - danced to Madonna and Michael Jackson and watched fireworks from the host's backyard.
I just finished reading a lot of your posts. Upma - your thoughts on love, let me just say I agree with everything you said. Weezie - that is so cool about your scarf. I wish I knit faster, so I could have sent something in.